Oh June

In two weeks I am going to see Virginia.

Im so excited.
Nervous.
Elated.
Worried.

I just wanna hold his hand and kiss him on the lips.

I dont know what is going to happen when I get there and we are face to face.

Maybe we'll hate each other. But I doubt that.

He is amazing.
If I had written a book before I met him that was filled with everything I thought I wanted a man to say to me, well this man would make that book obsolete in first week that i meet him.

Its crazy to think things will be perfect
I dont expect that at all,
but I am sure that they will be beautiful.
Thats all anyone can ever ask for.. a little beauty.

Doubts

Today I am doubting myself a lot. This comes as no surprise considering what day it is..... SUNDAY!

Oh Sunday how i loath you.

Last night my best friend told me I'm too self-conscious.
I guess that's true because when he said that I was "too" something it hurt my feelings a little.

I do worry about what i look like but i think everyone does.

Who out there is completely confident with every aspect of their being.

Some days I feel completely beautiful
other days I feel too fat, too tan, and too normal... with maybe a ting of too stupid sprinkled on top.

But who doesnt feel like that sometimes? I dont think its a big tragedy that this one day Im not sure about ME.
Its just something I want to say. That I need to remember.
I dont have to be perfect and I shouldnt try to be that way either.

So fuck you Sunday. Until next week my friend.