No DOUBTS

This week hasn't been very eventfully. Sometimes at work I feel like I am too mean to the children in my class. I am constantly getting on to them and it's not really their fault. We have zero supplies, busted toys, and books. So unless I buy things for us to do they get bored and fight and at 7.25 an hour i cant really buy them much. On a much happier note I fell in love with my class this week. Until you teach children you cant really understand that feeling. This is my attempt to explain it. Imagine if you will that you are having a terrible day or better yet, a horrible week and you don't feel like doing anything and during your fit of argue you look up to see one of the kids in your class singing the song that you taught him the day before or maybe a little girl is reading from memory the book that you read to her 3x a day.Your argue washes away and you are immersed in love. All the of stresses from the day wash away and I realize I am exactly where I am supposed to be.


I don't remember ever having dreams about what I wanted to be when I was younger even in High School I had no idea. What I wanted most was to be in love. HA! Now at the age of 23 almost 24 I feel like I have still never been in love. I have been infatuated and woo la la in lust but never love. Of course when I was younger and much more naive there were times when I got lust confused with love a few times.Times when I cried. Although i have said those three words to someone before I just don't believe I have actually ever felt love, not in the romance sense. I have felt love for my life and all the beauty that surrounds me.I am amazed at how beautiful life is.

So since this is a blog about my love life I feel it wouldn't be right unless I included a few details. I am trying to write more honestly about "the romance" and not let the haziness of warm hands and soft lips take over. The word real comes to mind when I think about "the romance" Tomorrow will be three weeks.